The Blood, Guts, and Glory
by notnatural17
Summary: Sure, Alec can be labelled as sarcastic, selfish, and maybe a bit masochistic, but there's a heart in there..somewhere. Second in the "Lost and Forgotten" 'verse.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Dark Angel. There may be mentions of child abuse and violence. Dark themes.**

They were crazy.

Absolutely crazy.

John subtly shifted to where he was blocking the doorway, and Dean's hand, resting on his shoulder, tightened fractionally. Alec's eyes flicked from both Winchesters, to the door and then to the window.

Max had long since left, saying a quick yet meaningful goodbye to Alec, and now he was stuck.

Once again - with crazy people.

Okay, maybe he was over exaggerating, maybe they were telling the truth about _some_ things, if any. If they had said anything else, like unicorns were real, or giraffes weren't, but no. Just about anything and everything Supernatural exists. Now this wouldn't be so hard to believe if he had proof.

Which, in fact, they had none of. Dean and John were talking about hunts, but refused to take him on one because he was an amateur.

Alec understands that he hasn't been a ghost buster, or seen the movie, but he's a genetically empowered super soldier. Emphasis on the _genetically empowered_ part.

But of course, _genetically empowered_ doesn't mean squat if you're hunting a ghost or demon. And damn if that doesn't hurt a man's pride.

John was staring down at Alec, reminding the X5 of his favorite Colonel back at Manticore. Dean's hand has been slowly getting tighter on his right shoulder, not hard enough to bruise but plenty to keep him in place and ground him to reality.

 _Insane_.

"Come on, kid." Asshole number one, sitting next to him, murmured in his ear.

"You have to face the truth." Asshole number two growled exasperatedly.

Alec - most certainly _not_ an asshole, there were way too many assholes in this room as it is - stood up from the bed so fast that Max would be proud. He walked towards the doorway, John as well, unfortunately, and quickly attempted getting through the wall that was John Winchester.

But he ain't that lucky, as he has learned throughout his short life. The older man turned him around with two hands on his shoulders and forcefully sat him down on the bed, where Dean awaited. This time, Dean took preemptive measures and wrapped his injured arm around the transgenic and focused on not only restraining the kid, but comforting him.

Now John knew Alec was a smart kid. Hell, _Alec_ knew he was a smart kid. The smart ass probably learned how to spell antidisestablishmentarianism when he was five. But he still had no clue why Alec even thought that would work. Seriously? The kid was strong, sure, but he had no mental capacity at the moment to look at John, let alone walk through him.

"Look at me." John demanded, and when he got no response, he added "That's an order, son."

Alec glared up at the man, but saw the command in his eyes. He saw the former military recruit come out in the man, and found himself unconsciously straightening up.

That didn't stop his smart mouth, though.

"You guys are crazier than my brother, and _that's_ saying something!" He muttered, loud enough that they could hear him, but quiet enough to not fuel John's anger.

Dean's shoulders shook a little, laughter lining his voice as he watched John's reaction, "He's gotcha there, dad."

John just shook his head and sat down on the second bed in the room, disheartened.

xxxxx

It took him a few months to get used to his new life, occasionally having to be talked out of returning to Seattle by Max. Which eventually led the Winchesters to banning him from watching the news.

Which, according to Alec, was _completely_ unfair. The older men had complete supervision on what he watched on TV, and they didn't even give out the orders.

The filthy traitor did: Max.

However, within the few months that he was with the Winchesters, he mirrored Dean. As in, going on hunts and following orders that John dished out with practiced ease. To be completely honest, he wanted - no - _needed_ orders to follow. Without them, he felt completely helpless and vulnerable.

What? He grew up following orders, sue him.

So, the one week he isn't a perfect angel that Dean and John both know he isn't, he gets cornered. Because apparently, the only way to get things out of people these days were to corner them.

xxxxx

John and Dean shared a glance of concern as Alec quickly got out of the Impala and jogged to the motel room, using the key and blurring inside and flopping on the bed immediately. Dean motioned to himself and then to the open doorway, and John pointed down the road where the bar was located. Both Winchesters nodding, they set off and their plan was in motion.

Alec raised his eyebrow when only Dean walked in, clearly asking where the other one was. The older man just copied his expression and walked towards him. He sat on the X5's bed, which was already small, and leaned over the younger man.

When Alec tried to scoot over, so did Dean.

So the transgenic resorted to shoving the man off of the bed. Which worked for about five seconds before he was dragged back down.

Alec's body, already exhausted and sore from previous hunts, was quickly pinned down by Dean. He was straddling his legs, keeping them in place, and pinning his wrists on the floor by his head. The older man smirked and leaned forwards, "I can do this all day."

Alec squirmed, trying to find a way to get the bigger man off of him, but every transgenic had their off days, and this most definitely was his. He slowly relaxed and gazed up at Dean innocently.

"I don't know what you want from me."

Dean glared down at him, making Alec look away briefly before his head was forced back towards his captor. "I _want_ to know why the hell you're acting so mopey." Before the X5 could protest, he interrupted, "You haven't slept in days, you're eating smaller portions of food each day, and you look like _death_ died."

His glare faded down into a hurt and concerned look, making Alec's stomach sink. He was worrying them. "There's nothing to worry about, promise." Dean's look didn't falter, it strengthened. "I'm serious."

"So am I, kid. And I'm gonna ask you this one time, do you want to be with us?"

Alec's eyes seem to brighten when they met Dean's, and a smile lit his face. "Yes. Yes I do."

The worried look faded into confusion, "Then what's wrong?"

The transgenic's bright eyes dimmed a bit, so he used his only defense, "Well, I accidentally stubbed my toe the other day, kind of put a damper on my mood if you catch my drift." Dean sighed and released Alec, standing up.

And for some reason it hurt the X5 even more than he thought it would that he disappointed him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Dark Angel. There may be mentions of child abuse and violence. Dark themes.**

Somewhere in his mind he knew he should hate Manticore. Knew that what they had done to him was unforgivable. The hell they put him through, and it wasn't even just him. They had ruined thousands of lives in the facility.

But Manticore always comes back, they've never been, and never will be destroyed. If the building that housed all of Manticore had been crumbled and broken, the soldiers who survived and didn't know how to cope helped it live on.

Alec missed Manticore, and right now, sharing a room with Dean and John, that they were as close as it gets, save for joining the army. John was similar to a CO, giving commands and orders and immediately expecting them to be followed. Dean was like a fellow soldier, if not an SIC, giving out secondary commands and strategies that seventy-five percent of the time were better than original orders. And Alec? He was just there along for the ride.

So when they told him about the supernatural beings, about them being real, his mind went into momentarily - probably could be amended to something quite a bit longer than that - shock. His subconscious quickly latched onto the idea that they were in a war. Hunters and supernatural creatures.

He could be a soldier again.

His stomach both dropped with dread at his hope and fluttered in excitement that he won't be fighting a war of his own. He won't be another mindless soldier. Alec's body would immediately follow orders, but his mind won't allow him. Not anymore.

Mind over matter. Except Alec doesn't have control over his mind.

He can't sleep, can't eat, can't even think without Manticore eating away at his brain. Reminding him of his very first mission. It happened exactly at this time.

He may have succeeded in his superior's eyes, but he failed in his own.

xxxxx

 _494 was barely eight years old. His blond hair had grown out, ordered by the higher-ups, and his bangs nearly reached his gold speckled green eyes, the back nearly covering his barcode._

 _His small, lithe body shook faintly as Colonel Lydecker gave him his orders. The colonel was kneeling in front of him, keeping their eyes locked. He knew he was sacrificing the boy's psyche, but the kid was perfect for the job._

 _494's jaw trembled slightly as the final order came through, kill the man, retrieve the target, and return to the meeting place - where Colonel Lydecker will be waiting - to be drove back to headquarters._

 _The man to be killed was named Ethan Kalmen. Known as the CEO of a major company that has dealt with Manticore, by dealt, they gave him a soldier by the designation of 436. He has been there for over a year, five months passed the stated return._

 _The X5 will be dropped off at a foster home, which Manticore had planted information for Mr. Kalmen to find that they had lost control of a certain transgenic. It is very likely that Kalmen will retrieve him, and 494 is to report his behaviors and files in his computer to give Manticore the information it needs to determine whether they are being planned against._

 _Either way, an assassination will go down._

 _Now Lydecker may be known as heartless and demanding in his best of times, but he had a soft spot for the young soldier standing in front of him._

 _He had a personality that even sociopaths would adore, and although it is quite obvious of the rebel and smartass in there, there was also a soldier that would follow orders at any given time. Deck knew it was an act, but the act was good enough for him so long it didn't compromise any missions in the given future._

 _Taking a deep breath, Colonel Lydecker nodded his consent for his kid to wait outside for the vehicle._

xxxxx

Alec closed his eyes as the memory assaulted him, of the pain he went through on his very first mission.

xxxxx

 _Eric was his given name. His very first name._

 _His heart was pounding, dread and fear coursing through his veins as he looked at his colonel for reassurance. The car he was in seemed to get smaller and smaller as his panic increased. He jumped slightly when a hand was put on his shoulder, his innocent eyes looked up at Lydecker, he looked very much like a terrified kid._

 _And that played with ol' Deck's poor heart. He leaned in and wrapped his arm around the kid, knowing that if he was going to grow up and thrive as a soldier, he would have to be brave enough to face his fears. "You're going to do fine. Just relax and do what you're told, understand?"_

 _Sue him, he wasn't great at comforting scared little kids._

" _Yes sir." 494 murmured, looking out the window at the foster home as a lady came out and quickly strutted to their car._

 _She put on a big, fake smile, opening the car door and looking at 49- Eric. She bent down to his level, "My name is Alexa, and I'm going to be showing you around today." Alexa looked up at the colonel, "Will you be on your way?"_

 _Deck nodded and gave 494 a gentle nudge in the direction of Alexa. He quickly got out of the car and watched solemnly as the slightly worn navy blue truck drove out of sight and looked up at his tourist._

 _Alexa put her hand on his back and guided him to the home, very much looking like she couldn't wait to go home. Taking a deep breath, 494 - he refused to think of himself as something that will most definitely be temporary and raise his hopes - steeled his nerves and prepared for his mission._

 _xxxxx_

Alec stood up from his bed, jarring Dean, and walked to the bathroom, seeking refuge. He struggled to breathe as the lump in his throat grew and grew while his mind played the memories. He knew that if he went to sleep it would get so, so much worse.

There were many things he missed about Manticore. He missed their order, their control, his unit. But what he missed most of all was the fact that he didn't have to feel, didn't have to think for himself.

He just wanted someone to live his life for him, because he really did not want to relive the rest of his first disastrous mission.

494 may not have failed that mission, but it ensured that he would live in fear for the rest of his life, Manticore or not.

The next thing he knew he was being engulfed in the black shirt that Dean was wearing, and the bulk of the man's arms wrapping around him as he sensed that the transgenic needed comfort.

And lots of it.

He may not know what is wrong with Alec, but he will be there every step of the way until that smartass comes back. He knows when it's safe to push, and when to back away and let him lick his wounds in peace.

Right now Alec needed somebody to help him hold himself together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Dark Angel. There may be mentions of child abuse and violence. Dark themes.**

Alec squeezed his eyes shut and gripped Dean's shirt just a bit harder, trying to fight off both the memories and the nausea.

xxxxx

 _It took three, nerve racking days for Mr. Kalmen to finally show up at the home. He requested to meet a few of the kids staying here, mentioning that he didn't know who he wanted to keep._

 _Six kids were lined up in front of the tall man, the others sent out by Kalmen's choice. He was slowly walking back and forth, eyes flickering to 494 repeatedly. Knowing his mission, fear running through his veins, he didn't fight the man as he subtly checked down the line for a barcode. Fingers tightened on the back of his neck when he found what he was looking for._

" _Him." Mr. Kalmen said in his cold, demanding voice. "I want him."_

 _The X5 trembled slightly, his emotions running high and causing tremors to run throughout his body. Oh how he wished he could back out of the mission, but he couldn't._

 _A deep pit of dread settled itself inside of 494's stomach and stayed there. It made itself comfortable while the man made the short drive to his home._

 _Turning towards the kid in his car, a smile lit up his face. Not any happy smile though, a cold, inhospitable smile. "Would you like to meet Andrew, Eric?"_

 _494's eyes flickered down to the floor, the 'scared kid who is too frozen to think about escaping' look making Kalmen smirk. He reached out and gripped the boy's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. The fear evident, yet a subtle inkling of something else. Something more… devious._

 _That made Ethan's hand, still on 494's chin, tighten, forcing the boy to look higher up. The transgenic sucked in a breath and met the older man's eyes. "Yes sir." He murmured quietly. He had a feeling that if he even thought about disobeying or answering in any other form, he would get punished._

 _And his target let out a small smile, a predatory smile that showed his elation at being addressed like a higher up._

 _Then he let go, opening the car door and walking out to the front door. 494 followed him obediently, not wanting to be a nuisance to the guy that would be taking care of him until he was assassinated._

 _The door opened, revealing a good sized house. There was an office directly left of the entrance - equipped with a desk and supplies, as well as a computer- with a couch in the corner of the room. To the right of the entrance was a dining room with a miniature chandelier floating above the wooden dining table and chairs. Straight ahead was the living room, with a flat screen TV rested on the wall directly opposite of the leather couches and armchairs. The living room gave out to a kitchen, silver cutlery and glass plates set out ahead for dinner, ready at any time. The stairway upstairs was fairly average, just a wooden bottom step and soft carpet leading the way to several different rooms: the game room, the media room, and three bedrooms._

 _494 was so busy studying the interior of the house, that he didn't realize that Kalmen had already walked upstairs, waiting for him at the top with his eyebrows raised. Silently berating himself and focusing on the mission at hand, the transgenic walked up the steps._

 _Ethan rested a hand on the back of his neck, resting over his barcode, as he led the boy into the room that 436 was in. In his mind, he might as well introduce them, not knowing that 436 was Eric's main target._

 _436 was excellent in the battlefield. His strength and speed was extraordinary, even for a transgenic, and, even in his young, kid body, he looked fitter than most athletes. But the boy that 494 saw was not what he wanted to see, and it was not what he was._

 _His dark brown eyes were empty, so different from when 494 last saw them, so full of life and mischief. 'Andrew' looked up from where he was staring at the wall, and the small X5 gulped when the brown eyes met his green ones. His eyes widened fractionally in surprise before he stood up and met the two by the door._

" _Andrew," Kalmen's cold voice met their ears, "meet Eric."_

" _Hello." 436 muttered, forcing his relief and hope down in order to keep his cover. Kalmen's icy blue eyes scrutinized him before flicking to the small boy at his side._

" _We're going out for a little bit." The older man said, hand still resting on the back of 494's neck, "You better be in bed by the time we get back. You two are sharing a room, and I don't want to hear any talking when I go to bed, understand?"_

 _They both responded the same way - 'yes sir' - and Kalmen moved out of the room, 494 on his heels, but not after glancing back at 436._

" _Let's go."_

 _xxxxx_

 _Donald Lydecker drove his truck to Manticore, the entire time his thoughts on 494. He knew the kid was young, knew it was his first mission, knew that the kid would be afraid for some time. But there was a certain bond between 436 and 494 that nobody saw except for Deck._

 _The older transgenic trained him, sparred with him, taught him the proper stance when at attention, and even helped hide injuries from them. 436 and 494 worked together extremely well, considering their age._

 _They were practically brothers._

 _Deck knew that one way or the other, they needed to learn to survive without each other. He did. But there was something about the innocent green eyes and protective brown ones that made him a bit uncomfortable. When he told 436 what his mission was, who he was dealing with, and how long the estimated stay was, he could tell that the X5 was worried about what would happen in the meantime there. He still had so much to tell 494._

 _And when he didn't come back from the mission like he said he would, 494 went silent. He didn't speak unless spoken to, didn't ask other questions for what was needed to be done even if the morals were in question._

 _He knew that 436 wouldn't want to leave the house without 494, and vice-versa, which was fantastic when it had to do with rescuing each other._

 _The small transgenic was perfect for this mission, even if nobody knew it._

 _xxxxx_

John lay awake, hearing two distinct voices, one conference and the other weary. He heard small snippets of conversation, one of them being 'I have to leave this stupid town.' 'It's this town.' and small noises of protest as Alec was being hauled into the bed.

"Please." The X5 whispered, looking at Dean imploringly, "Can we leave?"

Dean's eyes softened, and his shoulders slumped. Eyes flickering over to where John was lying, he murmured in the transgenics ear, hand on the back of his neck. "Kid-"

Alec shook his head, clearing it. He was a soldier, he didn't need to beg. He didn't need to worry the people around him. He was fine.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." Alec muttered, the resentment at losing control of his emotions all over his face and lacing his voice.

Dean turned the younger man and lay him down on his back, and went over to the other side of the bed and rested a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, we'll be out of here sooner or later. Just go to sleep."

And he - Alec, 494, transgenic, X5, the insubordinate soldier who has failed many times - obeyed the suggestion and faintly felt a hint of panic at what his mind could show him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **So here's what I'm going to do. I will finish this chapter and put it on** _ **Lost and Forgotten**_ **, and then after a day I will move this entire part of the plot to a whole new story to make it easier on myself. Basically, I'm going to be doing short stories instead of one big one. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Dark Angel. There may be mentions of child abuse and violence. Dark themes.**

 _Kalmen clenched his hands around the wheel, anger coursing through his veins. The little brat didn't want his barcode lasered off._

 _494's eyes flickered to his hands, which were squeezed into fists on his lap. He had a feeling that Manticore wouldn't appreciate his barcode being gone. 436 already knew who he was, sure, but he had a feeling that the tattoo would give him a sense of peace, something that the older boy desperately needed._

" _You're getting it off, and you will do what I tell you to do." The man looked down at the X5, noting the defiant look in the kid's eyes. He pulled into the closed shop and opened the car door and waited for the kid to get out._

 _When 494 did not open his door, or make any move to get out, Kalmen pulled open the passenger door and yanked on the transgenic's arm to make him move. The kid was small for his age, both in height and weight, which made it so much easier for him to be forced somewhere._

 _Shutting the door behind him, the older man shoved 494 into a chair and held his neck still forcefully by his hair. "If you move, it'll hurt you a lot more than it hurts me."_

 _494 clenched his jaw and squirmed in discomfort when the hand tightened on his hair. The discomfort fell into darkness when the sharp needle pierced his tender skin on the back of his neck. He jerked forwards, trying to escaped from the pain, but the hand in his hair roughly pulled him back. The X5 yelped in pain, and closed his eyes tightly when the needle returned to his neck._

 _When 494 kept struggling, Kalmen turned the chair around and backhanded him, getting in his face. "Quit. Moving." He stared at the green eyes for a full thirty seconds before turning the kid back around and continuing his work._

 _xxxxx_

 _The drive home was silent._

 _494 held a cloth to the back of his neck, the area red, bleeding, and raw from the rough treatment. When the house came into view, Kalmen turned his icy eyes on him, and he knew he was screwed._

 _This time when the older man got out of the car, he did as well. He followed him into 436's room, where he sat up on the bed, eyes open._

" _Hey," Kalmen snapped, hand on 494's arm gripped tightly, "I thought I told you to be in bed by the time I got back."_

 _436 saw the minute fear glittering in his unit mate's eyes, as well as the bruises and bloody rag in his hand, and when he glanced up at his 'caretaker', he saw the malice. The boy slowly stood up and walked up to the pair._

" _Let him go." He growled viciously. 494's eyes widened fractionally, not expecting that tone out of the older boy. But the man didn't listen, he just narrowed his eyes and threw 494 into the other kid, gratified when they both landed on the floor._

 _436's body thumped on the floor next to his, both of them having the breath knocked out of them. And while Manticore gave them training for missions that were hardcore, 494 had never been on the battlefield and 436 had been stuck in this hellhole for months._

 _When they didn't stand up immediately, Kalmen towered over the two of them, glaring. "You don't remember, do you 436? The reason you_ can't _leave?"_

 _The transgenic tensed, and looked over at his unit mate, "Look away," he whispered._

 _494 shut his eyes and turned his head when a small pop could be heard. Dread coursed through his veins when a metallic smell ran through his nose. He squeezed his eyes tighter as he listened for breathing. All he heard was heavy breathing, breathing near the doorway._

 _No breathing could be heard from the X5 beside him._

 _The X5 slowly turned his head and opened his eyes, slamming them shut almost immediately at the sight in front of him. His breaths sped up, raggedly and unevenly._

 _He opened his eyes again, and a sob caught in his throat. 494 stared at the dead body of his unit mate, blood dripping out of a gaping wound on the back of his neck. His jaw trembled as he fought to gasp in more air._

 _Brown eyes that were emptier than before stared back at him, a hand reaching out to grab his forearm but never made it to its destination. A mouth was open in a silent plea, and 494 couldn't take those eyes looking at him anymore._

 _He reached over tentatively and shook the older boy's shoulder, seeing - hoping - he would wake up from his seemingly trance-like state. Tears ran down his face as he continuously tried to wake his friend, but never worked._

 _494's shoulders shook with each sob, and he got up on his knees. He reached out his hand again, though this time he closed 436's eyes._

 _Getting to is feet, he looked up murderously at the man who killed his best friend. All grief was replaced by anger and need for retaliation. But the man was one step ahead._

 _A gun pointed straight at his forehead was all he could see._

 _xxxxx_

Dean shook Alec awake when his breathing sped up. He really wanted to know what the younger man was going through, but he figured he had to be patient.

When the X5 turned over and buried his face in his arms, Dean's frown - which had seemed to permanently take resident on his face - deepened.

"Come on, kid." He murmured in his double's ear. "Let's talk outside."

Dean faintly saw the nod before they were both up and about, ready to go out at the time of 4:43 in the morning. He quietly told John where they were heading before they both went out the door.

 _xxxxx_

 _494 sat at the meeting place, covered in blood and filled with information about the guy who took care of him for less than a week, waiting for Colonel Lydecker to join him._

 _When 436 was brutally murdered, 494 didn't have the chance to kill Kalmen until he was sleeping. Six days after._

 _He was shoved into a freezer and given food and water and a bucket until he finally found his way out. A permanent chill seemed to settle in his bones along with the images of his broken friend._

 _494 jumped about a mile high when a hand gently settled itself onto his shoulder, and he looked up to see Lydecker standing there with a concerned look on his face. The concern deepened when the wild animal look in the kid's eyes sharpened._

 _He yanked himself away and stood to attention, eyes dull and grief-stricken._

 _Deck sighed to himself softly, "Details on the mission, soldier." The transgenic steeled himself, and after a second answered._

 _And boy did the colonel not like what he heard. Not the blood, not the guts, and definitely not the glory._

 **I hope you enjoyed. Adios :)**


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